Have you tried Macho Builders?

 If you have any striped paper to put up or a shed to paint black why not try Macho Builders in Superstraight Road, Greater Manliness? 

We offer a totally bespoke and not at all homo service with a special offer on building conservatories (as long as you promise not to put any flowers or fluffy cushion in it) at half price. We do like trans people, honest.

Sorry but we still to refuse to work on any of the following:

Treehouses

Wendy houses

Crazy paving - reminds us too much of alternative lifestyles, guv...

Anything recommended by Alan "Bennett" Titchmarsh.

Call today - but not a pink phone, never on a pink phone.